Discordian Opening Ritual
by Prince Prance


1. Clap x5

2. The Erisian Cross:
“Light in my Head
Fire in my genitals
Strength at my Right side
Laughter at my Left side
Love in my Heart.”

3. Trace Spiral Pentagrams at the 4 quarters & zenith.

4. Face East:
“Blessed Apostle Hung Mung1, great Sage of Cathay, Balance
the Hodge and Podge and grant us equilibrium.”

5. Face South:
“Blessed Apostle Van Van Mojo2, Doctor of Hoodoo and Vexes,
Give us the Voodoo Power and confuse our enemies.”

6. Face West:
“Blessed Apostle Sri Syadasti3, patron of psychedelia, Teach
us the relative truth and blow our minds.”

7. Face North:
“Blessed Apostle Zarathud4, hard-nosed hermit, Grant us the
Erisian doubt, and the constancy of Chaos.”

8. Look up (or down):
“Blessed Apostle Malaclypse5, Elder Saint of Discordia, Grant
us illumination and protect us from stupidity.”

9. Look all over the place:
“Great Goddess Discordia, Holy Mother Eris, Joy of the
Universe, Laughter of Space, Grant us Life, Light, Love and
Liberty and make the bloody magick work!”

10. “Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!"


Notes:
1. Hung Mung is the Discordian link to the Chinese Mysteries
and it is none other than he who devised the Sacred Chao. He
is patron of the Season of Chaos.

2. Dr. Van Van Mojo is a fellow of the Intergalactic Haitian
Guerillas for World Peace and is Patron of the Season of
Discord.

3. Sri Syadasti is the Apostle of Psychedelia and the Patron of
the Season of Confusion.

4. Zarathud, a Hermit of Medieval Europe, has been dubbed
“Offender of the Faith.” He is Patron of the season of
Bureaucracy.”

5. Malaclypse the Elder is alleged to have been an ancient
wiseman who carried as sign bearing the legend “DUMB”
through the alleys of Rome, Baghdad, Mecca, Jerusalem, and
some other places. He is Patron of the season of Aftermath.