(Being an Account of the End Times)
(1) Eris appeared before me, and spake, saying “At the end of all time,
all the peoples of Earth will descend into the fiery pit of hell.”
(2) And I asked, “Will following your commandments prevent this?” And
Eris spake again, saying “No.”
(3) And I didst weep, for I knew then that I was doomed.
(4) And Eris spake again, saying “Only kidding! I made that up.” I didst
say, “What?”
(5) But Eris was gone, and I drunk from the Tequila bottle once again.
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The End
(Being An Account Of The Creation)
(1) In the beginning, there was the Word. And the Word was “Oops!”
(2) And Eris didst create Night and Day, and saw that it was good.
(3) And Eris didst create Light and Dark, and saw that it was good.
(4) And Eris didst see the fundamental illogic of the order of (2) and (3).
(5) And Eris didst say “bugger this for a lark” and didst dispel night
by creating the electric lightbulb. And Eris didst become bored, and
didst leave it to another deity to sort it all out.
(Apocrypha Discordia, s. 10)
